Many couples lose their first love sometime after the wedding day. Familiarity starts to set in and they soon get bored with each other. Love is not automatically kept alive in marriage. It requires lots of effort and work. Never allow yourselves to become too familiar with each other. Don’t take your spouse for granted. They say marriage is a bed of roses. That’s very true! As long as you don’t forget that roses have thorns. When you look at a rose that has been plucked off the rose bush, it has tender green thorns which are soft and harmless but as the stem dries and matures it hardens the thorns and makes them dangerous. Don’t allow the small issues to become hardened problematic areas in your marriage.

Be romantic. This means that you must always keep your spouse at the fore-front of your mind. By doing so you will avoid paying attention to other people of the opposite sex! Keep the text messages flowing like they used to when you were in courtship. Tell your spouse you are thinking of him/her. Phone them to show you have them on your mind.

Don’t get attracted to other people, no matter what you see in them. Keep your state of mind balanced and believe in your marriage. No-one can do that for you. It takes two to make a marriage work but only one to destroy it. Keep the love language alive.

When you were courting and you called each other by the sweetest words possible, the relationship was at its best. Now that you are married, where has the love language gone to? Is he/ she no longer your sweetheart?

Do lots of things together. Go places, play sports, run, jog, walk, go to gym, visit holiday resorts, go to the cattle post. Show an interest in each other’s hobbies. Go fishing, watch a movie, watch a soccer game and take the children on a family outing or camping trip. Go places together because this is all part of being romantic. Doing things together strengthens the marriage bond.

Stay connected through thoughts throughout the day. Think the best about your spouse and don’t compare him/her with anyone else. Your spouse is unique and that’s why you loved him/her. Use whatever is at your disposal to bring out the best in your spouse. If your spouse is working far away from you, it means you both have to work harder at keeping the flames of love alive in your marriage.

Avoid negative advice from friends and family. They can drive you apart in subtle way. Discuss what affects your family and do it meaningfully. Most family discussions are interrupted or nullified by the television. People prefer to eat in front of the TV than at the dinner table. When last did you and your spouse have a meaningful discussion where no major decisions were made? Solve difficulties together rather than independently. Use the consultative approach to decision-making rather than the isolationist approach.