Last week, we talked about the need to develop a character that makes marriage an enjoyable and worthwhile experience. In a world that has shifted its values and opted for what ‘feels’ right, the challenge to have a great marriage should be taken seriously. It is not easy to enjoy a healthy marriage. There are so many demands vying for our attention. Let us look at some more character traits that will definitively strengthen your marriage. Be faithful and true in your commitment to God and to each other.

Don’t allow work, hobbies, outside interests or other distractions, especially illicit affairs, to sabotage the covenant you have made together. Honour your vows by staying devoted to your spouse and to your marriage. Give each other your time and your talents, putting your marriage before the demands and temptations of this world. Approach disagreements and difficulties with a gentle, compassionate, understanding spirit! Be sympathetic to each other’s problems and challenges, and considerate of each other’s needs. Cooperate with each other and be willing to compromise for the sake of your marriage. Some people think that compromise is a weakness. On the contrary, it is actually a strength of character.

It shows that you are not selfish; you are considerate; you are willing to forego your desire to have your way and you have the marriage’s best interests at heart. Exercise self-control when you are angry, frustrated, disappointed, hurt, or tempted. Put yourself in the other person’s place and try to imagine the impact of your words and actions. Take care to choose what you say, how you say it; and what you do, very carefully. It is not about ‘winning the battle’ because in the process you may very well ‘lose the war.’ Weigh your words and actions carefully; they will have an effect on your spouse and your marriage. Make positive choices rather than negative ones - lean towards love, forgiveness and commitment to your marriage. Adopting these attributes requires a mature perspective and viewpoint.

It calls for putting aside your selfish inclinations and committing yourself to a cause greater than yourself. It involves thinking about someone else and how your actions affect them.

It means that you must learn to communicate more constructively, taking care to tamper your emotions so that your message is delivered and received in a positive and beneficial manner. Incorporating these qualities into your marriage and your daily life will not be easy, and it will take lots of practice! I find that I need God’s help on a regular basis to consistently put me back on track. But a commitment to these values will enhance and enrich your union and even the quality of your daily existence.

These characteristics will help you to have a pattern of behaviour that will enhance your relationship and support you on your journey towards an enduring, successful, and happy marriage. ’Life is short, and you love your wife, so enjoy being with her. This is what you are supposed to do as you struggle through life on this earth.’ (Ecclesiastes 9:9)