The year is coming to a wrap. We are all tired. Even if you believe you have not achieved all that you had set yourself to this year, you still are, admit it. While we look back and reflect on the year, it is important to cut yourself some slack. You did your best, you have won some and lost some, life goes on.

This is a time for thanksgiving and to appreciate your blessings. You and your loved ones are alive and well. Someone out there has not been that lucky. Like the songwriter goes, if you count them one by one, you will realise just what the Lord has done.

Above being grateful, if you have not done it yet, check on your friend, cousin and neighbour. Find out if they are okay.

People don’t normally answer this question honestly, which begs the question why we continue to ask it. I guess it is how we have all been socialized to know that when we greet each other, we ought to ask each other how we are doing. Whether someone is going through a difficult period and things are not okay, the expectation is that they should just say, “I am fine, I am okay.”

What if someone is really not okay? Are we even ready to deal with them if they are not, most of us are not. Do we even listen for the response? Most don’t.

So “I am okay,” might actually mean “I am okay with my trouble, thanks for asking.” We have to admit though, it is not always easy to keep the conversation going when someone says they are not okay, but it could change a life for the better.

Sometimes there is a strong feeling that someone you know or care about is not behaving as they normally would. They are more agitated, withdrawn and just not themselves. Go ahead and ask, are okay?

The year goes by so fast that you realise that you have been keeping too busy to check on someone. We are only shocked when we hear that someone has taken their life, when we have known them to “be okay.”

Starting a conversation and perhaps asking about the changes that you have noticed can help a family member, friend or workmate open up. If they say they are not okay, you can follow steps to show them that they are supported and help them find strategies to better manage the load. This will make us and those around us seen, heard and understood.

In this way we will address the crisis of social isolation and community cohesiveness. With a focus on the prevention of suicides and counseling. Counseling is not meant for a certain group of people, we can all once in a while, sit, speak out, vent if we have to, just so that we are all okay. Let us normalise asking, “are you okay?”

Above being grateful, if you have not done it yet, check on your friend, cousin and neighbour. Find out if they are okay.