It was love at first sight when Reginah Phetlhe nee Dintwe, 58, and her now new husband 78-year old Japan Phetlhe met 45 years ago. She was only 13. She candidly recalls that her parents could not allow the two to get married. Though she is not sure why, the age gap between the lovers, and her tender age then might have been the reason her parents were hesitant to give away their daughter. The two persevered through all the opposition from both their families. In 2006, they made another attempt, this time, Japan was allowed to come with his family delegation to seek Reginah’s hand in marriage in a traditional arrangement of patlo. But things could not progress further from there, as her parents continued to oppose the union. “I remember that we had rings that eventually went missing in the house while we still waited for our parents’ approval. My wedding dress could not fit anymore. We gave up and thought it would never happen for us,” she said.

It is only now that Reginah and Japan have managed to get married in the second instalment of Re A Nyalana mass wedding in Old Naledi. “Now both our parents are deceased and we decided there is nothing standing in our way, in any case we are now old, we have three children and five grandchildren,” Reginah says.

The two who both hail from Mochudi will this coming Saturday December 3, celebrate their wedding once again in the presence of family and friends in Old Naledi. “We have long waited for this day to finally be pronounced husband and wife lawfully. We will now be separated by death,” Reginah told The Midweek Sun shortly after taking their vows. So far 6 824 marriages have been solemnised through Re A Nyalana in 29 villages across the country, and there are no divorces registered.

Acting Deputy Director, Department of Social Protection, Mosidi Batsalelwang said during the mass wedding in Old Naledi on Friday that initiatives such as Re A Nyalana are impactful because they augment government’s efforts of ending Gender Based Violence (GBV) and encouraging healthy families where children are raised well.

She said Re A Nyalana is aimed at discouraging the practice of cohabitation by promoting and encouraging establishment of legally recognised marital relations to allow harmonious governance and management of family issues.

Old Naledi Kgosi Motlhatswi Pule said their offices are always flooded with complaints of unmarried couples that are living together and have been for years. “In many cases when the partner dies, the family of the deceased may come and claim property. In some instances, it is the children who suffer in the event that both parents die,” she said.

Chairperson of the Old Naledi Child Protection Committee (CPC) Phenyo Mahuma concurred that cases of GBV in homes and property grabbing, where children who lost their parents are displaced from their parents’ homes by relatives upon death of parents are escalating. “When our clients who are the children suffer within families, we often find out that most of the time the problems are related to their parents who might have been staying together without being married,” said Mahuma who is also Coordinator of the Tsholofelong Children and Youth Trust that cares for vulnerable children. He said they had targeted to marry more than 50 couples in Old Naledi so far, but that Covid disrupted their plans. Six couples were married in 2019 and now seven this year. While they desire to bring in more and younger couples, Re a Nyalana is still stigmatised in communities. “Many see these marriages as invalid, because they believe that without the traditional arrangements of patlo and bogadi, among other traditional procedures, the couple is not really married,” he said. He said they encourage couples to involve their extended families to ensure that they undertake the necessary procedures if there is need. He adds that many people still perceive Re A Nyalana marriages as those suited for the poor, and therefore many people do not want to be associated with that. Re A Nyalana Society was formally registered with the Registrar of Societies in 2012 and received a Presidential Award in 2019.